blond mustache

I almost swerved across three lanes of freeway
construction traffic to get to that McDonald’s.

I restrained myself. Double cheese
and strawberry milkshake?

Sometimes I tell people I’m trying to go vegan. This mostly means
I’ve switched to almond milk.

Cut it out, cut it out.

Two exits later in Brighton
I was eating Arby’s in a parking lot.

The curly fries were vegan.
The roast beef was not.

My heart sighed.
Now my hands smell funny.

Those running shoes look hilariously new
a full year later. 

Zero stroke is the name of the latest German ailment. It is the nervous affliction of bookkeepers who grow dizzy from the number of ciphers that must be set in a row after the integers before German marks are sufficiently numerous to come within hailing distance of real money.[4]

Cashiers, bookkeepers, and bankers were reportedly the most prone to this affliction.[2]

Besides a compulsion to write endless strings of zeros, individuals that suffered from this condition would reportedly become confused when referring to numbers and would state that they were ten billion years old or had forty trillion children.[2]

Two Gentlemen of Lebowski

WOO
What, thou rash egg! Thus will we drown thine exclamations.

[They again insert his head into the commode]

BLANCHE
Trifle not with the fury of two desperate men. Long has thy wife sealed a bond with Jaques Treehorn; as blood is to blood, surely thou owest to Jaques Treehorn in recompense.

WOO
Rise, and speak wisely, man—but hark;
I see thy rug, as woven i’the Orient,
A treasure from abroad. I like it not.
I’ll stain it thus; ever thus to deadbeats.

[He stains the rug]

THE KNAVE
Sir, prithee nay!